Closing the intention-action gap: Why willpower isn’t enough
Have you ever set a goal, only to watch your good intentions fade away? Eat healthier, exercise regularly, communicate more effectively, reduce your doomscrolling, you name it.
If so, you’re not alone. In fact, research shows that even when the stakes are life and death, change is hard. Harvard psychologists Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey cite a striking statistic: only one in seven heart disease patients successfully adopt life-saving habits after diagnosis.
If people struggle to change when their lives depend on it, it’s no wonder that leadership behaviors, team habits, and personal goals often fall short. The problem isn’t laziness or lack of willpower. It’s something deeper…and understanding it is the key to lasting change.
Why trying harder doesn’t work
Most of us approach change with sheer determination: white knuckling through restrictive diets, rigid exercise plans, or strict communication rules. But forcing ourselves rarely works for long. Why? Because behavior change isn’t just about effort. It’s about uncovering what’s happening beneath the surface. Something else is blocking us from the change we so sincerely desire to make.
The hidden commitments that hold us back
Kegan and Lahey call this phenomenon the “immunity to change.” Just like a biological immune system protects us from threats, our psychological immune system protects us from behaviors that feel risky, even if those behaviors align with our conscious goals.
Here’s how it works:
You set a goal to exercise regularly.
You rearrange your schedule and commit to the gym.
But underneath, you hold a powerful, hidden commitment: “I will never be the kind of parent who puts myself before my kids.”
This subconscious belief sabotages your conscious goal. Even though exercising doesn’t make you a bad parent, the fear of appearing selfish wins out. These hidden competing commitments often stem from past experiences and big assumptions we make about ourselves, others, and the world around us. These might be assumptions such as “disagreement destroys relationships” or “assertiveness equals selfishness.” They once served as protection, but now they block growth.
More examples of competing commitments
Dieting: On the one hand, we commit to eating healthier. On the other hand, we’re committed to never feeling hungry.
Communication: Someone committed to softening an aggressive communication style may fear losing control. Their competing commitment is then to never feel out of control. For someone committed to speaking up may fear damaging relationships. Their competing commitment might be to never destroy a relationship through conflict.
These fears are rarely conscious, but they’re powerful. Our commitment to avoiding the exposed, vulnerable feeling of fear prevents us from doing the thing that matters most to us.
Organizational dynamics
This isn’t just an individual problem. Teams and organizations often roll out bold strategies with enthusiasm, only to watch them stall. Why? Because groups have blind spots too. A leadership team might avoid tough conversations to “keep harmony,” undermining a commitment to transparency. The commitment to harmony is actively working underneath the surface against the stated commitment to transparency. These hidden dynamics derail progress just as effectively as personal fears.
The good news: Change is possible
When we uncover these hidden commitments and challenge the assumptions behind them, real transformation happens. At Awaken Leadership Solutions, we use research-based tools to help individuals and organizations uncover there hidden competing commitments, then bridge the gap between intention and action.
Behavior change isn’t about trying harder—it’s about gaining insight that reduces the power of hidden, competing commitments and limiting assumptions. It’s about understanding the invisible forces that hold us back and learning how to move past them.
Ready to close your intention-action gap?
Whether you want to strengthen your leadership behaviors or help your organization follow through on its strategy, we can help. Contact Awaken Leadership Solutions to start your journey toward lasting change.